Why Being Selfish Is Sometimes Necessary – The Power of Choosing Yourself

🌿 Why Being Selfish Is Sometimes Necessary

Choosing Yourself Is Not a Sin — It’s a Survival Skill

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For years, we’ve been taught that being “selfless” is a virtue — that putting others before ourselves is the definition of love.

But what if being selfless all the time…
leaves you empty?

What if choosing yourself isn’t selfish at all —
but an act of healing?

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🪞 What Does “Selfish” Really Mean?

Being selfish is often misunderstood.

It’s not:

• Ignoring everyone’s feelings

• Acting without empathy

• Abandoning kindness

It is:

• Saying “no” without guilt

• Protecting your mental health

• Refusing to pour from an empty cup

Being selfish sometimes… just means being honest with yourself.

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🧠 Why Choosing Yourself Feels So Hard

If you’re a giver, a people-pleaser, or someone raised to keep peace — this part will feel familiar.

• You overextend yourself to avoid conflict

• You say “yes” because “no” feels rude

• You shrink your needs to avoid being “too much”

• You feel guilty for putting yourself first

But here’s the truth:

You’re allowed to choose you — even if it disappoints someone else.

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🌸 My Own Journey With This

There was a time when I said “yes” just to be liked.

I’d cancel my rest for someone else’s plans.
Agree to things that drained me.
Smile when I wanted space.

And then I crashed — quietly, invisibly.

Now, I say “no” more often.
And every “no” is a tiny act of self-respect.

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🛠️ Gentle Ways to Practice Healthy “Selfishness”

Here’s how to choose yourself without shame:

1. ✋ Say No Kindly, But Firmly

You don’t owe everyone an explanation. “I won’t be able to” is enough.

2. 🧘 Make Time for Your Own Joy

Even 10 quiet minutes a day to breathe, journal, or walk — just for you.

3. 🔒 Protect Your Energy

Not everyone gets access to your time, heart, or attention.

4. ❤️ Stop Apologizing for Existing

Taking up space doesn’t make you rude. It makes you human.

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🛍️ Recommended Reads 

Book	Why
The Mountain Is You – Brianna Wiest	Healing, growth, and setting boundaries
Set Boundaries, Find Peace – Nedra Glover Tawwab	Real talk on emotional boundaries

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🌱 Final Words

Being “selfish” isn’t about hurting others.

It’s about not abandoning yourself.

So say “no.”
Rest.
Choose joy.
Choose peace.
Choose you.

Because the truth is:

People will survive your boundaries.
But you won’t survive your own neglect.

Learn how to say no without guilt in this gentle guide to friendship boundaries.

ometimes, the hardest thing is not feeling at all — explore emotional anesthesia here.

If choosing yourself feels unfamiliar, read this quiet reflection on living with depression.

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